A Million Little Pieces Of My Mind

So with Easter almost upon us, I thought I would share my favorite Easter story.

While the United States is floundering over what, exactly, to do about the immigration issue, our friends in Canada have followed a more practical approach, deciding to let in anyone who can prove he or she understands Canadian culture. Of course, even this policy wasn't without a breaking-in period, as the Canadian Department of Immigration had to decide on which specific questions to ask, to determine, in as brief a period as possible, the cultural readiness of each candidate.

So, the examiner had in his hands three proposed questions to try on the first three candidates.

The first would-be immigrant entered the examination room, and the examiner asked, "What is Christmas?"

The immigrant took a deep breath, and replied, "That is when everyone gathers for a picnic, and there are fireworks, and people in boats, and politicians make speeches."

He was turned down.

The next applicant was asked, "What is Thanksgiving?"

The applicant stared blankly for a moment, then said, "Ah, that is when everyone gives their friends and family presents to thank them for not killing them during the previous year."

The examiner turned him down, but was starting to worry. Some immigrants had to make it through the system, or it would be perceived as just a ruse to close the borders. So his spirits rose as the last test applicant started to answer the final question, "What is Easter?"

"Ah," said the candidate, nodding sagely. "Easter. That is when the great prophet, Jesus of Nazareth, rises from the dead after having been crucified and buried in a tomb. So he leaves the tomb…"

The examiner was already starting to sign the acceptance papers as the applicant continued, "but if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter!"