In 1997 I made my first album, "The Man Who Isn't There," out of a breakup I had not finished having. Nearly thirty years on I can do things I could not do then—better tools, better ears, and a great deal more patience—so this is that record made again. The title has picked up one word in the meantime.

What has come across so far is the originals. Every song I have remade here is one of mine; not one of the covers from the first album has made the trip, and I do not think they are going to. The half of that record I still have something to settle with turns out to be the half I wrote.

There are also two songs on here older than the album they are joining. "Magic in Your Eyes" and "The Average John Denver Song" both date from the 1980s, and neither of them made it onto anything at the time. They are here because they should have been somewhere a long while ago, and because a record about going back for things may as well go all the way back.

It is still being assembled. The numbering has gaps in it, and the gaps are honest ones.

You can listen to the whole album here, or visit each track to read the lyrics and play that song only.

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Oh My Dear

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/1/2026		Page Views: 8
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (132 words)

TODO: a note about this song.

Run Dick Run

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 47
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (25 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

Don't Think That I Can Take This

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/1/2026		Page Views: 45
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 2 minute(s) (268 words)

TODO: a note about this song.

For Every Tree There Is A Soldier

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 4
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (29 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

Carry The Flame

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 8/14/2026		Page Views: 7
Hashtags: #Music
From my novel: a slave's song for everything his people lost.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (201 words)

I wrote this one for my novel, Lucian of Samosata. In the story, it's sung by an enslaved Spaniard, mourning everything his people lost—their homes, their freedom, their dead—with nothing left to hold onto but the memory.

COBOLin'

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 6
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (23 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

Spoons In The Dirt

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 6
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (26 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

God's Promise

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 6
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (24 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

Ella

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 2/6/2016		Page Views: 78
Hashtags: #Music
Named for my granddog, after a detour through some very bad Spanish.
Estimated reading time: 2 minute(s) (394 words)

A computer can create hundreds of songs in a second but it will never be able to tell which one it likes the most.

The Man Who Isn't There

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 10/6/2026		Page Views: 6
Hashtags: #Music
A track from the album, The Man Who Still Isn't There.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (27 words)

TODO: a note about this track.

The Heart of an Angel

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 8/14/2026		Page Views: 88
Hashtags: #Music
How it felt to fall in love on New Year's Eve, 1996.
Estimated reading time: 2 minute(s) (299 words)

I met Michael in late 1996, and fell in love with him New Year's Eve. We were together for nearly 20 years; and though we aren't any more, we're still friends, and he's still an amazing guy. This song tells exactly how I felt at the time, and that feeling remains as one of my most precious memories.

Altronia

By: Paul S Cilwa	Posted: 8/8/2017		Page Views: 12
Hashtags: #Music #OriginalMusic #Timelines #Altronia
An instrumental that's out-of-this-world.
Estimated reading time: 1 minute(s) (72 words)

A metaphysically-oriented friend, Chris Carmona, played a piece she had written on the piano after a meeting of our studies group. It was a very simple piece, not really more than a series of chords; but the chord progression was addictive and I loved it, and asked permission to arrange it. She calls it Altronia, after a science fiction story she'd been working on.