A Million Little Pieces Of My Mind

It's been a month since my last visit to the Toxin Doc. Today was my scheduled appointment, early actually, at 8:30. And then I had a dentist appointment scheduled at 10. Plus, work. So it's been a busy day but not too busy to share it with you.

My friend and co-worker, Jerry, took a long weekend. So I had to get in this morning at 6 (his usual arrival time) to start the programs he usually runs. Plus, mine. Then out at 8 o'clock for the half-hour trip to the clinic. It's only ten miles north of here, but 8:00 am it's still rush hour around here. The traffic was horrendous, but I showed up one minute early. People far and wide are amazed at my punctuality.

Today's student docs were John, who I saw last time, and Chris who was even cuter than John, if possible. Ahem. But to focus on the issues at hand, which is, the little toxins rushing through my bloodstream.

Last time, they had taken a blood sample to check my glutathione levels. This is a natural protein we all synthesize in our livers. Or, rather, should. It's the body's natural scavenger of toxic molecules. Because of the levels of certain pesticides they found in my body, they expected my glutathione levels were low. So they took the blood sample to see, and meanwhile put me on supplements that would, hopefully, boost the levels naturally.

The problem is, if levels of toxicity are high enough, the mechanism that makes the scavengers fails, which of course only allows the toxicity levels to rise even higher. But you can't just take glutathione. It's a protein, and if you took a glutathione capsule, it would be digested into its component parts in the stomach. So, instead, supplements such as milk thistle and alpha lipoic acid are given, which have been observed to boost glutathione production.

But today, going over the test result, it turned out my glutathione level was "in range"…not really that low, meaning I was making the amount I should be. So, in a way, that was a good thing because it means the toxins haven't damaged my liver. On the other hand, I'm still toxic; so the normal amounts my liver produces aren't enough to scavenge the little buggers out of me.

Therefore, I need more glutathione than a liver can produce…and, since it can't be taken orally, they need to inject it intravenously…once a week for four weeks.

On the plus side, I can cut back on the glutathione-boosting supplements I was taking.

They would love to have started today, and I would have loved to have them start…but I had already scheduled a dentist appointment at 10:00 am and the IV session would push me past the time I needed to leave. So we made an appointment for the IV to be done on Wednesday at 2:00 pm.

I did get in a couple of questions I'd saved up. One was, since I had to replace my normal shampoo and bath gel with non-toxic equivalents, did I need to worry about the Minoxodil I spray on my scalp each day in an increasingly futile attempt to retain some hair. (Sometimes I think I'd do better with Superglue.) The answer: No, Minoxodil doesn't contain any recognized toxins.

Well, okay, then how about the Just For Men hair coloring I use every couple of weeks? My hair hasn't gone completely gray, but it looks pretty lifeless without it. Thank the gods, Crinnion apparently doesn't think it's toxic—or perhaps exposure once every couple of weeks just isn't that serious. It does help that this regimen isn't an impossible-to-achieve, all-or-nothing affair.

I also had to ask about lube, or "personal lubricant". If you don't know what this is used for, you don't need to know. But for most gay guys it's almost as important as hair gel. The answer: Any water-based lube would be fine. Since that's the kind I prefer (it's less messy and doesn't compromise condoms, as oil-based lubes do) it meant that was one less thing for me to throw out and re-buy, which was good news.

Dr. Crinnion, through his students, also told me to discontinue the Quell Fire, a Chinese medicine I had been prescribed by my previous doc. This medicine was supposed to lower my blood pressure and I had originally started taking it for the purpose of replacing the two conventional prescriptions for HBP, Propranolol and Hydrochlorothiazide. But it had no effect on my blood pressure at all. And when John took my blood pressure at the start of today's visit, it was down by ten points…the first concrete sign that the toxin removal was having an effect! John and Chris didn't seem nearly as excited by this as I did.

However, I had still been experiencing edema in my left ankle. So they prescribed a new herbal remedy called Thorne Perfusia-SR^?. Not having any idea what it was, I had Michael pick up some at the medicinary for me.

It turns out it is sustained-release L-arginine, one of the twenty most common amino acids, meaning it is present in most any meal I eat. In addition, the body makes its own. But…am I getting enough? Lack of it produces symptoms that include high blood pressure and edema. And the synthesis of it is one of the activities than can be blocked by toxins. So, I should know by the time this bottle is empty, whether lack of L-arginine was a problem or not. (And fortunately, it wasn't that expensive.)

Okay, so then it was off to the dentist.

This is embarrassing, but I blog everything so what-the-hell. I have been drinking carbonated soft drinks for years. The carbonation combines with the calcium in the teeth, so my teeth have literally dissolved to almost nothing. I can chew, but I can never appear in a Crest commercial.

And Friday, during lunch, one of my front teeth just snapped off.

It might have been a crown. I don't remember. But, if it was, it "failed".

So next I arrived (again,exactly on time) at the new dentist, who was even cuter than the student docs at the clinic. That should not have been a surprise, as I selected him from the various candidates, primarily by his Internet photo. (Also by his membership in my health insurance plan, and by the presence of the phrase "Naturapathic Dentistry on his web site, and also by the sign "We Cater To Cowards" propped up by his door.)

He took a look in my mouth, and promised to work up a treatment plan that would fit within my insurance. (The reason I stopped going to my last dentist was that he seemed unable to keep his grand and expensive plans for my mouth within that limit.)

He then sent me to Melinda, a matronly hygienist whose job was to take a full set of X-rays. Melinda was exactly the kind of hygienist who is a blogger's dream, though a patient's nightmare. In adjusting the X-ray machine to take a picture of one of my teeth, she turned, straightened suddenly, and cracked her head against the arm of the X-ray gun! This wasn't a little bump; she was literally staggering. I reached up to steady her and said, "Are you all right?"

"Oh yes," she said, though she sounded unsure. "I do that to myself all the time."

I couldn't think of a reasonable response. "Really?"

"Oh, yes," she said, then seemed to regain her wits. "Yes, I'll be fine." She then turned to adjust the controls, and turned back and did it again! This time she had to close her eyes for a moment. I wasn't certain whether I should call for help.

"I'm okay," she said, finally, in a small voice.

She had placed upon me the standard lead apron, just in case I should decide, despite my vasectomy, to have more children. The amount of X-rays projected by a modern, digital X-ray machine is extremely small. Nevertheless, wearing the lead apron is harmless and could be considered a good idea. But I noticed that Melinda pressed the button for the X-ray exposure while standing right next to me.

"Are you wearing a lead undergarment?" I asked, knowing that her cumulative exposure over the course of a year would be thousands of times greater than mine, even without the apron.

"Oh, no," she replied, casually. "I'm supposed to leave the room, actually." But she didn't.

So you can imagine how much I looked forward to her next job, checking the depth of my gum sockets with a little sharp pick. I mean, I don't enjoy that anyway. I normally insist on nitrous oxide before having that done. Actually, first I get drunk, in order to take the Valium, in order to make the appointment.

And I suggested it, but she just laughed it off and poked away. So I'm hoping she isn't their only hygienist, because on my next appointment I'm having a "deep cleaning" and I definitely will be needing nitrous oxide for that!

Of course, by then Melinda will probably be in the hospital with a concussion, so I probably don't have to worry.